...everything i need to know i learned from going to see iron maiden live in concert last night...

- black is the new black.

- no really. it is.

- if you are stuck in a fashion quandry, ALWAYS go for the black, leather, tapered pants.

- black, leather tapered pants with "iron maiden" embroidered down the length of both legs will catapult you to the top of the fashion stakes. for all of eternity.

- having the enormous curtain in front of the stage drop during the playing of a recording of an iron maiden song, to reveal the band playing that very song and segueing in, live, as they stand in what appears to be the smoking ruins of a somme battlefield, is a very effective way of starting a rock n' roll show.

- 2 guitars are better than 1.

- 3 guitars are better than 2.

- 4 guitars are better than anything.

- 5 minute guitar solos are good.

- 7 minute guitar solos are better.

- if you cannot see the drummer, even when he stands up and raises his sticks above his head, because there are so many damn drums and cymbals in the way, then you should have bought ear plugs.

- if, half way through a 7 minute guitar solo, an enormous battle scarred tank raises from behind the stage, taking up the entire width of the theatre, and it slowly turns to face the audience, and an 8 ft tall eddie-the-head, raises out of said tanks turret, scans the crowd with red LED eyes and fires the tanks gun in time to the drum finale joining the end of the 7 minute guitar solo, the crowd will go APESHIT.

- if bruce dickinson ever, ever asks the crowd what time it is, the answer will always, always be "2 minutes to midnight"

- when utilising acoustic guitars during an iron maiden show to highlight your range of abilities, be sure to still have your axe strapped and ready to go. i would suggest some sort of acoustic-guitar-stand that allows you to strum, as well as to peel away and "shred" at a moments notice, leaving your acoustic guitar seemingly floating in space, allowing you to return at the plaintive end of the song as the lights go out and play a mournful acoustic "bookend".

- just because a drummer sits behind a three layer stack of drums during the entire show, it is no reason for him not to wear black, leather tapered pants, or at the very least black denim - because old drummers in bike shorts coming out to take their final bow can be very disturbing for the crowd.

- lead singers down-trouing bike shorts clad drummers during their final bow will always be funny.

- a 17 foot tall dude-on-stilts dressed like tommy atkins with an eddie-the-head head piece that has red flashing eyes, waving a union jack and strolling about on stage during "the evil that men do" will... (see above note re: crowd going APESHIT.)

- the crowd-wailing bit at the beginning of "fear of the dark" translates perfectly into japanese.

- wearing a flag adorned with skulls as a cape is generally seen as a little odd in polite company. unless you are about 8 feet tall, hairy, german, heavily tatooed around the face and hands, have 6 mates who look the same as you and are at an iron maiden concert, in which case, you can do whatever the hell you like.

- dudes wearing suits and carrying briefcases to iron maiden concerts look out of place.

- dudes wearing suits and carrying briefcases to iron maiden concerts rock the hell out.

- too much dry ice is not enough dry ice.

- my wife rules for buying me a ticket.

berin, age 31.